Monday, February 8, 2016

When He Calls

If you follow Jesus, you know when He is stirring in your heart.  You feel it, see it, experience it in ways that you alone are confident of His working.

He's been working here. I wish I could put words to the whispers in my soul.  I will try to share.  God at work is a beautiful thing.

My husband and I had our lives turned upside down during his illness.  Hours of quiet time in the hospital brought hours of sharing our hearts with each other.  We found ourselves peeling back all the layers of how we saw life, God, our family, and our purpose.  Since those delicate months, we have mulled over and over so many things.  As time has brought healing, it has also brought clearer vision to life.

It has to matter.  This life has to count, not for ourselves so much, but for the purpose of our very creation.  When God allows you to see Himself more clearly, you cannot waste that.  If Kevin's years of illness opened our eyes to see God in more profound ways, it will forever be worth it to us both.  Because of that, we cannot idly live.  So we are flinging our arms out open looking for God to take whatever He wants of us to make Him known.  We have no idea what that might look like, where it might lead, what we will gain or lose, but that doesn't matter.  We are searching.  We are praying. We are open.

It is an exciting and scary way to live--open to whatever God has.  It seems like it should be the way of all believers, and it should.  However, we all have a tendency to cling tightly to certain "rights" that we are confident  are ours to  hold tightly.  Facing those and letting go are tricky things- unless you've seen the God of all creation.

You see, I have seen Him.  He is fierce, yet full of love.  He is powerful, yet tender.  He loves in a most jealous way, and He will not share our hearts with another master.  He humbles and He elevates.  He punishes and binds our hearts.  He works in the wee hours of the night, displays His glory in the bursting sunrise, and He wraps us in blankets of stars.  I've seen Him.  He has showed up in my darkest, most shameful moments.  He has plucked me from deep pits. He has disciplined my soul.  He has healed my most broken heart, calmed racing fears, and sustained in desperation.  This for me.  This, for my weak, willful, woesome soul.  He loves me in ways that are so delicate and powerful simultaneously.  He tolerates my failures. He gives beautiful gifts that I cannot repay.  I see Him everyday.  He is there in the garden protecting the wintered seed.   He is there in my classroom providing patience as I cup a small child's face and smile.  He is the mystery that calls me to write these very words.  And, when He calls..

My heart leaps.  Whatever it may be, the call is precious and Divine.

Oh fling out your arms, open your heart, take away all reserves!  The King calls!  He calls us to find Him, abide in Him, trust Him.  His assignments are unrivaled, and His reward is eternal. Don't miss His call.

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