Thursday, August 15, 2013

What a Day

This day started so lovely.  The weather was just unbelievable for August in South Carolina.  Jacket-like temperatures were in full force.  I walked with the baby around the neighborhood.  I drank coffee and he peddled his trike.  We talked to neighbors and had a merry time.  I was at peace.

I thought a little bit about last week.

Last week, out of the blue, I found out about a music teaching position.  I wasn't even sure I wanted to know the details.  I have been so completely happy at home.  I felt a small tug in my heart to at least crack open the request.  A simple email was sent.  In mere minutes my phone was ringing and an interview was requested. It was whirlwind like.  So much whirlwind, I was taken back a bit.  I wasn't even sure I wanted to work.

I nearly cancelled the interview.  I was so torn about the whole thing.  I eventually decided to go, and I very plainly told them I had nearly cancelled.  I told them that I certainly loved teaching and that it was no-doubt a love and passion that God had given me.  I also told them that I was in a good place.  I didn't have to have a job, and that I did not want to sacrifice my family just for me to get a paycheck.  I was not up for that, and I really felt like they needed to know that.I shared how much I missed the classroom, but how much I firmly believed that any job I take from now on would happen only if I believed God was leading me to do so.  I just couldn't spend another year of my life just working a  job.  I want to work at something I love. I want to do something where it means a little to somebody along the way.  I need to be in a place that understands my time with students is not just a slot to fill, but a time that I pour my heart into their lives.  I told them I put all of me into my work, and I wanted that to mean something to the school.  Those were my conditions.  Yes, I gave them conditions.   It was certainly not a typical interview for me.  At all.

I left feeling so energized and hopeful.  I felt like if the opportunity came my way, I would be happy to take it.  The boys could attend school there, Lincoln would have a lovely preschool on-site, and we would all be together.  The headmaster and his assistants were so encouraging.  I left feeling like we were on the same path. They understood my heart, and that is a rare thing.

The school is lovely.  It it is brand new.  It is well-supported and well-staffed.  It has a wonderful reputation for excellence.  The more I learned about it, the more I doubted my qualifications.  I was certain that in all the interviews that were still to come, somebody else would be far more qualified and polished.  I was OK with that, truly. It would just confirm that I wasn't meant to be there if someone else was chosen.

A week passed.
School starts very soon.

Teachers have already been selected in every position I knew was available.  There were no phone calls or emails.  There was no "thank you for applying" letter in my mailbox.  Ordinarily a week would not be a big thing, but for this time of the year it is.  I have been just fine.  I have been peaceful and certain that if that door didn't open, it wasn't meant to be opened.

Besides, I am writing.  I am so happy writing.  All is well and things are moving along in that department.

I registered Jack for school yesterday.  We were moving on ahead with the old plan.

The phone rang today.  The invitation for the position was extended.  Sweet words were exchanged.  My heart was a bit in shock again. I am not sure why, but I nearly declined.  I was really happy today knowing that life would be calm and I would be home.  But then she told me all that had taken place.  They were hiring someone to develop the program further after school.  They had another person they were hiring that could assist me during program times.  They hired another teacher that will assist with my Chapel service work.  I have a whole team waiting on me!  A WHOLE TEAM!!  They want to go all out for their arts department, and I get to lead it.  Humbled.  The only word that comes to mind.

God opened a door.  He is giving me a place to be used.  This little voice and my little piano playing fingers are going to be used again.  My work will mean something.  It will not just be a job.  It will mean something.  My boys and I will be together....and I get to be used doing something I absolutely love.

Who I am that God would be so mindful of me?  I get to make music, write stories, and be with my family.  I dare anyone to tell me He isn't good.  I can tell you with certainty that He sure is, and I am so honored to just be walking on His path.  I think my book just grew another chapter or two!  For we all know...I will always be writing.  Ah..what a day.

B Charmer

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