Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Worn




The past few days have been a bit tiresome.  The big boy stayed quite sick for many days.  He then shared it with his brother.  The Dr. told us there was nothing to do but wait for the infection to leave.  It has been a bit of up and down through the night making sure fevers stayed in the safe boundaries.  Medications, cough syrup, cleaning beds, and trying to get stains out of the carpet where one didn't quite make it to the bathroom (when nothing was staying down). This has been what my days and nights have looked like for several days.  In between it all, the late night news of manhunts and explosions fill the silence when everyone sleeps.  Watching my little ones struggle to sleep, watching the world hurt, and watching a city shut down in fear all starts to mix together quite heavily.

It can be a bit overwhelming.  I think of million things.  I think of when the fertilizer plant burned and exploded just around the corner from our home.  How incredibly blessed we were that it did not compare to the fire and explosions in Texas.  But I still remember the house shaking and our road full of rescue personnel.  I remember the heavy smoke in the air days later.  I remember barely sleeping that night as crews worked tirelessly to ensure the safety of the residents, like us, nearest the site.

I think of the families who's lives have been completely altered by the events of another needless, evil explosion.  I think of those waking to the knowledge that they are not the people they were just one day before.  I think of the grief and the anger that must be hanging in the halls of the hospitals and funeral homes.  I think of the medical professionals working so earnestly to preserve life.

I think of a very young man, really not much more than a boy, hidden and wounded in a boat while an  entire nation waits for his capture.  I think of his parents and his life.  Why and how?  What could have changed things?  He was just in high school and a minor not very long ago.  How impressionable his very being was to bring him to these moments in time.  What must have been swirling in his mind and heart?  It is so clear how heavy evil is when we as a nation watch this tragedy play out before us in the news. 

In all of that, I think of my Savior.  In an instant, He can heal the broken, the sick, the tired, and the worn.  He can make sense of the madness around us.  He is the soothing salve the world around me needs.  He can soothe my heart.  He can soothe the ache of the world as we all groan for peace.  He forgives.  He restores.  He gives life.  He brings beauty from ashes-any ashes.  He can heal the wounded and give purpose to their life.  He can rebuild a city that has seen the worst devastation.  He can even be found in dry-docked boat with the darkest of souls, if He is invited.  He is the hope of the world.

There will still be consequences.  Life will still be lived.  Justice will still need to be served. But hope can still exist.  Hope in humanity. Hope in broken hearts being mended.  Hope for my children.  Hope for yours.  Jesus is that hope.   I would hate to think there might be a wounded heart near me that I hadn't at least shared the hope that fuels my life.

The world tells us a lot of hateful things.  There is a lot of people that want to paint pictures of faith that are so very untrue.  Sometimes it is hard to find real faith.  Sometimes real faith looks nothing like what we expect it to.  Most times, we are wrong as to who Jesus is and what He means. 

Jesus chose fisherman to be His closest friends.  These were undoubtedly rough and rugged men of simple means.  I am sure they had mouths like any common sailor.  They worked hard for their living.  They were not at the top of the social class. 

Jesus loved the questionable.  He offered forgiveness to the very ones others were waiting to stone.  Jesus forgave the hardened criminal hanging next to Him on the cross.  He offered a vial man hope and love.  Jesus broke the rules.  He didn't look at anything but the heart, and He loved any heart offered to Him.  He always, always found a way to mend it. 

That Jesus loves me.  I am not a criminal or a fisherman.   I am a mom.  I love to write and re-arrange furniture.  I lose my patience and temper sometimes.  I am often too proud.  I often do not love enough.  I struggle sometimes to forgive.  There are many times I fail to be generous.  Sometimes, I even forget to be kind.  Sometimes, I don't even want to be kind. I struggle with the weight of the world.  I am temperamental. I fail often.  But, I am loved.  Just as I am, I am loved.  Jesus loves me. 

With the peace that He alone can give, I find rest when I am worn. When I don't understand the world around me, I still know I am loved.  When I question if God above knows what He is doing, even then I am loved.  When I think my way might be better, He still loves me.  When I doubt His power and loose faith in mere moments, He is still there loving me.  Faith is simply coming back to that truth.  I am loved, because He loves me.  I am worthy because He made it that way.  I am weak, but He is strong.  I don't understand it all, but I do know that I am loved by an all-powerful God.  I am treasured by Him.  But, I am not alone.  His love is there for us all.  It is real and deep.  It is true.  There is not a thing in this world that could ever change that. No disaster, no terror, no tragic turn of events.  He is true and faithful.   I believe it because I know Him.  I trust Him because He walks with me and holds my hand.  I love Him because He never changes.  He sees me through the roller coaster of faith and doubt and is standing there firm in His love for me. When I am ready,  He is there waiting to lead me on.  I trust Him. 

And, when I am worn, He is there providing rest for my weary heart.  His strength is perfect, even when mine utterly fails.  He can be trusted. He is good.  He is the Saviour and the light of this dark, dark world. I can turn off the news.  I can turn down the bed covers.  I can sleep in peace because I know Him. He's got this, all of this.  



B Charmer 






2 comments:

  1. Really needed to read this today... Struggling & often overwhelmed. Wondering how, when, why. Thanks for sharing your perspective and particularly your hope. Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words. Struggle seems to be the theme of life these days. I am glad that we have hope. I can't imagine life without it.

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