Thursday, March 21, 2013

Time With Him

Today is his birthday.  Together we have been celebrating birthdays for over 10 years.  What began as a mere friendship turned to a lifelong love.  I am grateful for each of his birthdays. 

I don't often speak about the morning that I could have so easily lost him.  There isn't much to say except that you never get over those feelings. At least, I don't.  I don't really live in fear because I put my faith in God to sustain me in all of life's moments.  But the feelings are always close to the surface.  There are still moments I wake in the night and make sure I see the gentle rise and fall of his chest.  There are mornings when the alarm goes off just a bit too long that I leap from the bed and and get him to wake.  But that is not every day.  I don't let it overwhelm me, but I do know that it is there.  I am cautious and yet confident. 

I felt like I did walk through "the valley of the shadow of death" that morning when he did not wake. I remember praying audibly in the car, as I drove behind the ambulance, not knowing what would await me at the hospital.  I remember the rush of tears when he reached out for me.  I remember everything.  Those moments are unforgettable.  But I focus on the truth and not the fear. 

The truth is that he is mine and I am his.  Our love and our life is in partnered in each other.  We have grown in our love and in our wisdom side by side.  We have worked hard raising our two little boys, and we trust God to get us through each phase of life.  We smile, we laugh, we sing, and occasionally we argue.  But one thing is for sure....we celebrate birthdays! 

Today we celebrate him.  We celebrate time together.  We celebrate happiness.  Happy Birthday Kevin. 

B Charmer

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