Wednesday, April 25, 2012

What to Do?

Change is coming. I cannot stop it, heaven knows I've tried. Budget cuts, downsizing, and administrative changes have all but taken my job. I have tried to fight it, but it seems unavoidable. I have to find another job, and my heart hurts. I have loved every moment I have spent in my sweet, little school. I have taught these children the joy of music for several years. I will miss them all dearly. I cannot imagine not being there....but I must. What to do?

I find myself in a peculiar spot. I feel the urging from within to take this time to chart a new course. Part of me wants to lead a crusade to save my music program, while another part says this time is for the seizing. I have been laying my heart out to my Maker and believing He will show me the way. I feel a stirring, but I cannot decipher yet the direction.

You see, I believe that God gives us gifts and loves for a purpose. He fills our souls with passions to use for His kingdom, and for our pleasure. He joys in our using His handiwork in us. What to do with His handiwork in me?

In a perfect world, I could mix all my loves into a casserole dish and watch it rise and bake into a delicious, profitable life for me and our family. My love for writing and cooking, combined with the desire to garden and raise chickens, and my dream to be a little shop owner would go into the recipe. I would love to sell my Nashville friend's honey she will soon have after she masters the art of bee keeping, and be the place to go for the must-have lovely thanksgiving apron. I would garden and prune flowers for display in the shop. There would be lovely music and yummy coffee. Table linens and all things pretty for homemaking would be the jewels of the shop. The boys could come in after school, grab a cookie from the front, and tackle homework in the back. We would be a sweet spot in the village offering smiles and friendship with every receipt. I could write a book or two about faith, home, and family. In the evenings, I could go home to a sweet little cottage and look forward to the ding of the bell when the shop opens in the morning. My mother would be my partner and her talents could be on display as well. Her unique ability to catalogue everything and tidy things perfectly into lovely lists would keep us like a well-oiled machine.

So what to do? How do you make a dream a reality? How do you go from nothing to something? How do you turn inspiration into reality....especially when you need a bit of income in the time being? How do you trust in the gifts that are inside of you?

I look at my hands. They are small, but they are able. God of the universe made them. What will He do with them next? I feel like a child holding them out waiting for a surprise.

I remember so clearly the day my friend captured this image of me and my first baby. My hand and his forming a lifetime bond. I keep seeing this in my mind as I process everything. The difference is, I feel like the tiny fingers gripping the hand of my Creator with the trust that He will care for me. So I wait, and I cling as I ask...what to do?



2 comments:

  1. Wow, Leah....I want to come drink coffee in the little shop while I'm reading one of your books....this was a great post. Keep looking upward...the Lord will show, guide, direct you. Love you guys!

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  2. Did you have fun in Nashville? I'm so glad we got to see you guys. You're such a good writer. I'm excited to see where your ideas and creativity go. Contact me when you want some honey:)

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