Friday, March 11, 2011

Close To You

     Last night my husband was traveling for work.  I decided that I would treat the little fella to a night in mommy's bed.  He was so excited he could barely hold still.  We are pretty insistant that he sleeps in his bed every night.  On occasion, he will join us- but it is rare.  Those occasions are generally brought on by sickness or bad dreams.  When such occaisons arise, we generally put him back in his bed after he is settled.  I usually try to do all I can to keep him in his room...but sometimes, I cave and his sweet little face just begs me to cuddle him.  I rationalize my decision with the thought...he is only little once. 
     He has always been one to snuggle.  I take most blame in this because I gave him little choice when he was an infant.  How clearly I can recall bundling him up on my chest and recling in bed together to get him calmed for sleep.  We calmed eachother.  I felt that he was so safe and secure in my arms and it helped me to relax.  He must have felt the same way because that became his favorite place to be.  It was a two-edged sword.  On one hand, I knew I was creating some bad habits - yet it worked so well for both of us, it was nearly impossible to not do it.  It became a problem.  He could not sleep without me, and I could not sleep with him.  He grew and I did not.  My chest became way too small, but his perception told him that it was plenty roomy.  I wanted him close but I NEEDED to sleep.  
Oh the days when he fit perfectly in my arms....

     This morning, I awoke in our king-size bed to a bundle of boy right on top of me.  I think old habits die hard.  I was so uncomfortable and thought about all the space that bed had to offer, yet here he was...so much in my space.  I moved him away to a better space and tried to take back a few lost minutes of sleep.  I awoke moments later to the same scenario and told myself...this is what I get!  Then I stopped and I thought...
     He only wants to be close to me.  He feels safe here and he sleeps so soundly.  No other place does he ever sleep so deeply than nearest me.  I need to be more like him. 
     Do I treasure the safe place in my life next to my Savior?  Do I ignore all the reasons to be so far away and cling ever to His side?  Do I giggle into the night from excitiment of simply being near Him?  My Creator, the One that knows every ounce of my being, do I try to just be close to Him?   Is it a joy to be ever close beside Him? 
     I grabbed my little buddy and pulled him closer to me.  His peaceful sleep was still not disturbed.  I thought about what it would feel like to be so sweetly loved...and I knew that I was...I have just been too much in my own space.  I really don't need...or want all that space.  I just want to be close to Him.
~B Charmer



1 comment:

  1. Great post - wonderful imagery. For any mom who has ever had a child cling to us that way, I think we can relate to how that feels.

    When I read your post, two passages came to mind: one is Psalms 139, a great reminder of how intimately God knows us, which begs the question, do we know Him as well? And Matthew 18:3, where Jesus tells us we must become like a child to enter the kingdom of heaven. I think your description of your son's delight and desire to be snuggled next to you is the perfect symbol of that childlike love and faith we must have.

    I hope you don't mind, but I shared your story (anonymously) in our adult Bible class this morning as we were talking about drawing closer to God. Hope you have a great week!

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